Uncertainty, Conflict & Leadership
Conflict is a part of life. It's inevitable, and it's something that everyone must deal with on a daily basis.
As a human being, we are wired for conflict – it makes us stronger and more resilient. Having said that it isn’t always easy to deal with especially if you are in a leadership position. Conflict that is managed well is a catalyst for growth. However, conflict that is poorly managed can lead to a breakdown in relationships and performance and can ultimately result in the loss of talent. So as leaders how do we successfully manage conflict? How do we deal with the difficult conversations that are part of every leader's job description?
To begin to manage conflict effectively, it is important to understand three things:
1) The complexities involved in defining the term “conflict”
2) How we process conflict in our minds
3) How consistently practicing a few key strategies will ensure that conflict is harnessed in a positive way
Defining Conflict
Conflict can be defined as the struggle two or more people experience while trying to share a common goal. What complicates things is that conflict means different things to different people. For example, when one party may feel that they are in a conflict situation, the other party may think that they are just in a simple discussion about differing opinions.
Before becoming a leader within your organization, you had more people above you to insulate the effects of conflict. Now that you are responsible for guiding a team and ensuring that everyone is on task-maybe even making decisions about how best to do so-it can feel like all the conflict passes through you first.
Internalizing conflict is one of the most common leadership pitfalls. It can be difficult to delegate when you are constantly dealing with your own emotions, which eventually will lead to burn out and stress which is then noticed by your team members in various ways.
Second pitfall is trying to avoid conflict all together. Sometimes, conflict can lead to positive outcomes within the workplace environment. This research project done by Global Human Capital Report asked 5000 individuals about their experiences with conflict in the workplace environment. They reported, that as a result of conflict:
41% of respondents had better understanding of others
33% of respondents had improved working relationships
29% of respondents found a better solution to a problem (e.g., improved communication)
21% saw higher performance from their team members and/or customers.
18% felt more motivated by what was being done around them because people were more involved in solving problems together than before
Understanding Human Brain is the key to dealing with Conflict
The psychology of people is such that emotions will be impacted almost instantaneously. Emotions sit at the surface and appear first. It has become clear now that our brains are organized by a basic threat or reward principle which means that our brains consider social threats just the same as physical threats
There are five factors that the brain is always monitoring, and they have a huge impact on how we behave.
· Status: Importance in relation to others
· Certainty: Ability to predict the future
· Autonomy: Exerting control over events
· Relatedness: Sense of connection with others
· Fairness: Fair exchange between people
Understanding what activates threat and reward within these 5 dimensions can help us to effectively use conflict for growth opportunities. Here are 3 key strategies to help with conflict management and how they fit into this model.
Strategy 1: Be Candid
In order to resolve conflict, we must be clear , concise and candid. We need to be able to acknowledge the facts of a situation without sugarcoating them or hiding behind our own biases. By doing so, we actually activate the reward state of the certainty domain. The prospect of change and ambiguity activates threat and negative emotions
Our brains are constantly trying to predict what will happen next based on its last experience of doing something similar before so if something feels different than usual then there may be an error message being sent from somewhere deep inside your mind telling you that this is not right!"
To ensure that you are getting the best possible outcome, it is important to be able to recognize when there may be an issue and have the ability to discuss it with others in a way that does not blame or place blame on others. This can be done by asking questions like "What do you think about this?" or "How would you handle this situation if it was your problem?"
Strategy 2: Depersonalize
One of the most important skills a leader must have is the ability to depersonalize conflict. This means that they need to step back from their own feelings and view it as a team issue, rather than something personal. If you can do this, you'll be able to make better decisions about how best to resolve conflicts with other people on your team or in your organization.
Another benefit of depersonalizing conflict is increased transparency and sense of fairness. When leaders remove themselves from the equation, they're less likely to feel entitled or attacked by others' actions. This leads them down another path of improved communication skills; both verbal and nonverbal
Strategy 3: Recognize & Reward
The third strategy we recommend for a leader is recognizing and rewarding team members who handle conflict well. This is in direct correlation with the relatedness domain. People yearn to feel that they ‘belong’ to a group: it makes us feel more comfortable sharing information with others who share our values; it provides an identity within which we can operate effectively; it allows us access into valued networks where we can connect with other people who share similar interests/goals etc.
In conclusion, conflict is part of the job, you don’t want to avoid it, you need to learn to deal with it in a brain friendly manner and observe how your own perspective has changed because of new information or knowledge.